Huge thanks to author Ana Siqueira for sharing this amazing mini-workshop with us. She’s a wealth of information. 💗
Want to win a 30 minute Ask Me Anything Zoom or picture book critique from Ana?
You’ll find all the details here.
Don’t forget that the PBParty New Draft Challenge & Critique Train runs through October 18.
It’s great motivation to write a new draft then hop on the Critique Train to receive a critique from the passenger above you and give one to the person below.
Here’s Adding Tension and Emotions to Your Manuscript by Ana Siqueira.
I want to tell you how to add tension to your manuscript. Oh, no! I can’t tell you that.
It’s against the rules.
I must show you, right?
Let’s start with a sweet and silly story about a carrot-eating bunny. (This is not my WIP! hahaha)
Spread 1
Bunny Jeo gobbles up sweet carrots.
When the floor shakes.
And he hears…
Spread 2
BOOOM!
Jeo trembles.
FART!
Jeo gags.
STOMP!
Jeo hides.
Spread 3
It’s a Monster Carrot!!!
Now let’s investigate some techniques used in these spreads.
Technique 1: Page-turner.
TV shows often end with a cliffhanger to reel you in and keep you coming back for more.
Will the bad guy catch the good guy? Will the princess fall in love with the prince? Will the rabbit gobble up the monster?
So you must hook your readers with a question.
Ending a spread with but, when, then, or even ellipsis will pique the readers’ curiosity.
They won’t be able to stand it. They must…
TURN THE PAGE!!!
Now that the reader is hooked, let’s keep them curious and a little nervous, too.
La Mala Suerte is Following Me by Ana Siqueira and Carlos Velez Aguillera – Charlesbridge Publishing
Technique 2 – Short sentences.
Short sentences full of tension will hook your readers and engage them in the story.
Compare –
- The sweet bunny is eating carrots when he hears a boom, smells a fart, and hides from heavy steps.
- BOOOM!
The bunny trembles.
FART!
The bunny gags.
STOMP!
The bunny hides.
Long sentences are good to slow down the pace. Short, snappy sentences add tension and mystery. But don’t forget to use the page-turner to heighten things even more.
On spread 2, readers will feel the need to TURN THE PAGE because they must find out who is doing all that stomping.
If Your Babysitter is a Bruja – by Ana Siqueira and Irena Freitas – Simon&Schuster
Technique 3 – Onomatopoeia and Senses
If you’ve read comic books, you’ll have seen lots of sound effects, right? Pow, Kaboom, Zap, Crash! Words like these immediately grab your attention. Sound effects, onomatopoeias, smells, visions, or any senses can involve readers. And if readers can hear, smell, taste, see, or touch, but they don’t know what…Ta-Da! They will…
TURN THE PAGE.
Abuela’s Super Capa by Ana Siqueira and Elisa Chavari – HarperCollins.
Technique 4 – Show, Don’t Tell
Of course, we all have heard and been annoyed by this message – Show, Don’t Tell, but…
[page turner]
Compare:
- The bunny gets nervous, nauseated, and scared.
- The bunny trembles. The bunny gags. The bunny hides.
Technique 5 – Why do they care?
These are a few techniques you can use to add tension to your manuscript. But remember, the most important way to get your readers hooked is to make them feel. If we really feel for this bunny and cheer for him, that will keep us hooked. So, make sure your character is likable and readers care about them. And also, one more annoying question…
What is at STAKE?
Will the Monster Carrot say he wants to be his best friend, and then they’ll go play in the garden? – Probably not that tension-packed, right?
But maybe the Monster Carrot does want to be the bunny’s best friend, but the bunny is really scared of the monster. – Higher stakes
What if the Monster Carrot tries to gobble up the rabbit? – Huge stakes.
So,
Choose what is at stake.
Make your readers care.
And force them to…
Turn the page!
And if they
OHHHHH! Shout.
Pound, pound! Feel.
Hahaha! Laugh.
You got them HOOKED…
FOREVER! (just an exaggeration for tension purposes, of course!)
Ana Siqueira is a Spanish teacher and award-winning children’s book author who turns fear into stories. When she’s scared, she writes tales bursting with brujas, astronautas, and supercapas. Her books include:
- Bella’s Recipe for Success (Beaming Books, 2021)
- If Your Babysitter is a Bruja (Simon & Schuster, 2022)
- Abuela’s Super Capa (HarperCollins, 2023)
- Our World Brazil (Barefoot Books, 2024)
- La Mala Suerte is Following You (Charlesbridge, 2024)
- Vera La Valiente is Scared (Beaming Books, 2025)
- Sticky Hermana (Charlesbridge, 2025)
- If Your Abuelo is an Astronauta (Simon & Schuster, 2026)
- Mami’s Heart (HarperCollins, 2026)
…and more on the way.
When she’s not writing, Ana takes her Spanish students on journeys through the Spanish-speaking world and her Brazilian-Cuban-American grandkids on countless aventuras.
Explore more books and adventures at anafiction.com, and visit her YouTube channel @AnaTeacherWriter for lesson plans and picture book guides.
SAVE THE DATE!
The next New Draft Challenge & Critique Train will be… November 20 – 22 Eastern!
*If you’re interested in being a Guest Crit Master, please send me an e-mail: [email protected]
Psssst…I offer PB Fairy Godmother Critiques!
I love giving detailed feedback on picture book manuscripts…and seeing them bloom in revisions. One of my favorite parts is reading the revision out loud during our Zoom, then brainstorming ways to make it even stronger. Of course, I end with good luck fairy dust. 🙂
I’m so impressed with the revisions, and can’t wait for these amazing books to be out in the world one day. E-mail me for more info: [email protected].
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