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  • Home
  • Mindy
    • Blog
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    • 2025 PBParty Contest
    • PBParty Success Stories
    • What is PBParty?
      • Past Finalists
        • PBParty 2024 Finalists
        • 2023 PBParty Finalists
        • 2022 PBParty Finalists
        • 2021 PBParty Finalists
  • Critique Train
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PBParty Entry #8 : The No Way Not Okay Not Today Haircut

March 24, 2024 Posted by Mindy Alyse Weiss PBParty Finalists 2024 8 Comments

GENRE: Character Driven, Humor


WORDS: 542


Query:

Dear Publishing Professionals,

Anxiety is no laughing matter. However, using humor and heart to recognize the situation, inspire empathy and build a bridge to facilitate understanding may be just what the doctor’s ordered. Please enjoy my story, The No Way, Not Okay, Not Today Haircut.

Will, a young sheep overwhelmed by loud noise, hides in fear from the BZZZ of the clippers until his snowballing fleece ultimately wedges him in the barn door and threatens to trap his little sister outside with an even scarier sound. Thankfully, there’s more than one way to trim a hairy situation in this humorous tale of shear, er, SHEER Will.

This 542-word story is targeted for ages 4 to 8. As one diagnosed with chronic anxiety (and parent of a son who was terrified to receive his first haircut), I recognize the need not only for compassion and support, but also the fact that that sometimes, one size, or one method, doesn’t fit all.

My goal for the story is to calm fears like Christopher Denise’s Knight Owl (2022), touch hearts like Tiny T Rex and the Very Dark Dark (Jonathan Stutzman/Jay Fleck, 2020), and elicit giggles like Mootilda’s Bad Mood (Cori Rosen Schwartz, Kirsti Call/Claudia Ranucci, 2020.)

I’m a member of SCBWI, a student (and professional critiquer) at Storyteller Academy and participated in the 12×12 Online Picture Book Challenge as a member and ‘Critique Ninja’ from 2016 through 2022. I was a PB Party finalist in 2022.

My award-winning debut picture book, When A Dragon Moves In (2011, Howard McWilliam, illustrator, Flashlight Press) developed into a series (When A Dragon Moves In Again, 2015, and I Love My Dragon, 2019) and is part of Storyline Online’s library. When A Dragon Moves In is a Teacher’s Pick on Amazon and was released in softcover July 2023. The books have also been featured as Scholastic Book Club selections.

I have a plethora of additional picture book manuscripts as well as a middle-grade novel in progress.

Thank you for your kind consideration.


Excerpt:

Will was a small puffball the first time Mama said, “Time to shear.”
BZZZZZ!
This wasn’t a gentle buzz like the bees. Or the soft rustle of leaves in a breeze. This was a knock-your-knees, make-you-wheeze, no-thank-you-please type of sound.
Will hid.
When Mama counted her sheep that night, the numbers didn’t add up right.
The following spring, Will followed the others when Mama said, “Time to shear.”
Until…
BZZZZZ!


What inspired you to write this story & what do you have in common with it:

As someone diagnosed with chronic anxiety, I’ve heard everything from “You can do it” to “You’re being silly” to “Stop being a baby!” over the years. While I believe those people were trying to be helpful, such advice is not. Panic attacks and other physical reactions are real. Recently, I ‘met’ a sheep at a county fair whose heartbreaking cries rose above the buzzing of the clippers. That same sound had terrified our son during his first haircut. Thankfully, both fears were handled with kindness: Alex, with a (hairy) lollipop; the sheep, with gentle caresses and whispered words of comfort.

Tags: PBPartyPBParty 2024 FinalistPBParty finalist
8 Comments
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8 Comments

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  • Ainslie Campbell-Schwartz
    · Reply

    March 26, 2024 at 3:28 PM

    I’d like to see this one!

    • Jodi Moore
      · Reply

      March 26, 2024 at 3:50 PM

      Thank you so much! 🙂

  • Elizabeth Schleisman
    · Reply

    March 27, 2024 at 12:43 PM

    I would love to read the rest of your book! If you’d like to submit to Beaming Books, please email me at schleismane@beamingbooks.com.

    • Jodi Moore
      · Reply

      March 27, 2024 at 4:33 PM

      Thank you so much! I will! 🙂

  • Kei Nakatsuka
    · Reply

    April 5, 2024 at 3:38 PM

    Hello! I’d love to take a look at this manuscript if you are interesting in sharing it with Bloomsbury. Please email it to me at kei.nakatsuka@bloomsbury.com. Thank you!

    • Jodi Moore
      · Reply

      April 5, 2024 at 4:55 PM

      I would be thrilled to share – thank you so much!

  • Nicole Frail
    · Reply

    April 5, 2024 at 7:52 PM

    I would like to see this one! Please send to nfrail@skyhorsepublishing.com!

    • Jodi Moore
      · Reply

      April 5, 2024 at 9:22 PM

      Thank you so much – I will!

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